an open letter

Dear Couple Standing outside my building at 11:30pm,
I am sure that you are a lovely couple. I am sure that you are so in love that it is hard to be apart from each other in the least... even when smoking disgustingly close to the doorway. I respect that love... and may even be slightly jealous. My bone of contention does not lie with your open expression of your relationship through being glued together at the waist.
However, was it really necessary to blow exhale your groddy smoke at me and then proceed to suck face like two high school kids as I walked by? Really? Now I smell like smoke and like slightly voyeuristic. Thanks for the consideration jerks. In the future, please refrain from repeating this situation or else I may be forced to respond with an equally mature response... such as the finger-in-the-mouth-and-loud-gag move. Consider yourself warned
All the best,
Sincerely
Me